Wonderful Kittens

Excuse the baggy eyes and no make up ~ hello 3 A.M. feedings

About a week and a half ago, Ash was outside and heard what sounded like baby kittens meowing. After looking around, we found them attempting to crawl under our fence. There they were. Four precious, tiny kittens in between our fence and the neighbor’s fence. We didn’t know what to do at first, so we left them for about 5 hours to see if the mom would come back. I would look out our laundry room window about every 15 minutes checking on them, but unfortunately, there was no sign of their momma. It was now about 6:30 in the evening, and we had a decision to make. Praise the Lord I have a friend who is a vet, so I texted her asking for advice and wisdom. Long story short, we ended up taking in the kittens. Ash ran to the pet store for formula and a bottle, and we started bottle feeding them every 4 hours. It turns out they were only 2 and a half weeks old when we found them. This past week the Lord has used these tiny kittens to do such a dealing in my heart. Yes! You read that correctly!!! I am going to do my very best to unpack the many dealings and revelations that have taken place this past week and a half.

First of all, did you know that a momma cat stimulates, licks their babies’ bottoms, to help them go to the restroom for the first 4 weeks of their life?!? Well, I had no idea. This means that after every feeding, Ash or I have to wipe their little bottoms to help them go to the restroom. I had no clue when taking them in how much work and time it would take to foster these kittens. To be honest, by day two I was very overwhelmed by the responsibility of keeping them alive. I had never done anything like this in my life. I didn’t have knowledge on how to bottle feed, how much to feed them, how to stimulate them, what temperature do they have to be in to keep them from dying and so much more. Needless to say, I didn’t know if I could keep doing this.

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ”

— 2 Corinthians 12: 9-11

I was desperate for my Heavenly Father. I felt weak and unable to continue on. I prayed and cried out for peace, but was still anxious and overcome. The first dealing the Lord showed me was that these are not my kittens. They are first and foremost His perfect creation. I had to let go of the pressure I was putting on myself to keep them alive. I had to lay them at His feet. I had picked up the burden of being their caregiver, which was NEVER mine to take. Sometimes in life, we can pick up things that were never meant to be ours. Whether its stress at work, relationship problems or drama between friends or family or maybe your parents are going through a divorce. Maybe like me you have someone who has received a horrible diagnosis. Whatever the burden is going on in your life, know that first of all our Father sees you and your heart. He knows your desires and the hurt it brings you. Secondly, know that it isn’t our burden. When we lay our fears, hurt and pain at His feet, He replaces these feelings with peace. We weren’t created to carry this heaviness. In Jesus, we have refuge. We have a warm, cozy shelter. We can’t carry the burden and also experience the freedom our Father wants for me an you. He asks you and me – which would you prefer? Carrying the burden or trusting me and knowing I will provide you peace and comfort? He gives us rest in the midst of the hardship. In the midst of our weakness, He is strong. We have to come to the end of ourselves in order for Him to be glorified. I am free knowing that whatever the outcome - it is out of my control. No matter what, I have a peace that surpasses all understanding because I trust my Father!

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ”

— Matthew 11 : 28-30

After laying their lives down at His feet, I still had SO many questions running through my mind. Poor Rachael, my friend who is a vet, because I texted her a million times asking so many different things. I still was anxious trying to make sure I was doing it perfectly. Again, the Lord had me on my face weeping to Him for help. I heard Him say, “Caroline, I never asked you to do it perfectly.” Wow. I sat there undone. I had put so much pressure on myself to do this perfectly and to have all of the answers. First and foremost, He is my source of wisdom. I just needed to look up. I needed to trust Holy Spirit inside of me. I needed to let go and let God. Our Father never asks me or you to be perfect. You know what He wants more than anything? Our yes. When we found these kittens, He asked for my yes not for me to have all of the answers. He knew I had absolutely no knowledge in this and I am in no way qualified for this job. Did that stop Him from choosing Ash or myself? No. There are so many times in life when the Lord will take you and me out of our comfort zones to grow in Him. It is not out of vain. He uses small and big situations for us to die to our flesh and lean more into Him than we ever have before. Every time I may feel anxious, I look up. I pray and ask the Lord for Him to guide me. I ask for Him to be my ultimate source in everything and anything in my life. He is able to do all things. There is nothing too big or small for Him.

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us. ”

— Ephesians 3:20

When I took them to the vet in Mobile (not my friend Rachael the vet), I could tell the vet disagreed with my decision in taking them in. I felt belittled and unworthy of the task. I felt like I wasn’t enough. I questioned my abilities. I questioned if I had heard the voice of the Lord when taking them in. I questioned everything.  At first, I didn’t know what triggered me to spiral downhill. When asking the Lord to show me, I found that I began to fall into my old man of being insecure. Man, did that hit home. I realized that I had put so much weight on the vet’s opinion that I forgot what the Lord had said. In life, I believe we can rely so much on other people’s opinions. Whether that be our mentors, bosses, role models, parents, friends or whoever. When we do this, we tune out the voice of the Lord. We can’t have two masters. We can’t obey two different sources. I was convicted of following the voice of the vet rather than the voice of the Lord. I repented and found peace in knowing that no matter what people may say or think, I know the voice of the Lord. I know He put those kittens in our driveway. He chose Ash and I for this very time. He is the one and ONLY voice I will listen to. He is my Father, and He would never lead me astray. He would also not lead me into something that I wasn’t capable of doing. He is calling laid down lovers of Jesus to follow Him in obedience with no apologies! We can’t listen to the voice of others and listen to the voice of the Lord. Which one are you listening to right now? Because for me, I listened to the voice of a vet. Even though it looked good on paper and even the “right” thing to do, the vet is not my God. She is not the ultimate source of wisdom. We are called higher! We are called to trust what our Father says regardless of what the world may think.

“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will hold to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.”

— Matthew 6:24

As I am typing this, I have such a heart full of gratitude because I am on the other side of the breakthrough. I am no longer overwhelmed. I am no longer anxious. I am no longer wanting to be perfect. I am no longer feeling insecure. Through His perfect love, I can be free to do this at the best of my ability. If I give it my best, then I have done all that He asks. I am enough for this task. Why? Because it is not I who lives, but Christ who lives in me. He is the prince of peace. He is the king of kings. He is with me and you in every little thing. He cares about my heart even with kittens. My prayer through writing is for us to have the realization that God is in every little thing in our life. He can use the most simple and mundane experience to the grandest. It doesn’t matter how big or small. Through all things, He is constantly teaching and moving me and you from Glory to Glory. All we have to do is stop to look and listen for that small quiet voice. SO whatever it is you are dealing with, I invite you to sit before the Father and ask for His voice to be revealed to you! I pray that when you sit in the secret place with our Abba you feel Him more than ever. I pray you hear Him more clearly than ever before. I pray you let go of what others say, and listen for the voice of the one who created you. He is the ultimate source of wisdom. He is the ultimate comforter. He is the prince of peace. He is the only Creator.  He is a good God, and I pray He meets you wherever you are today!

God, Where Did You Go?

Don’t you love when you feel like you are jiving with Jesus. You feel His presence everywhere you go. You know the heart of our Father. He is guiding and directing your every path. There have been seasons in my own life where I have felt His tangible love often. I have heard His voice loud and clear in the midst of certain storms. But I am actually just coming out of a season where I found myself asking the question, God, where did you go? So, what happens when there comes a time in our life when we may not “feel” His presence?

I am just getting out of a season where I did not “feel” Him like I use to. In all honesty, I had been struggling knowing if I was even hearing His voice. Not only did I feel like I didn’t hear Him, I was also in a season of waiting. I felt defeated and discouraged in a lot of different areas of my life. I was impatient and frustrated. Does that mean He had left me? Well, the answer is very clear. No, he had not left me. He had not stopped talking to me. He had not stopped relentlessly coming after me. Then, you may ask why did I feel this way?

Well, whether or not we are in a season of feeling God’s presence, He is always there.

He is using this season to shape me and you into a better version of ourselves. He is pruning away the things that are not of Him. I am a very imperfect person, but I know who is perfect. His name is Jesus, and He is continually bringing me from glory to glory. I don’t know about you, but there are days where I felt like crying out saying, “God do you hear me?” I have learned that it is in these times of desperation where I grow closer and closer to my Father. Why? Well, because I had nothing left. I was desperate to know His thoughts. I was eager to know what was next for my life. He brings us into these seasons, so we have to slow down to hear His heartbeat. We have to sit at His feet and listen so very carefully. These wilderness seasons create a hunger to know Him more.

“Now faith brings our hopes into reality and becomes the foundation needed to acquire the things we long for. It is all the evidence required to prove what is still unseen.”

— Hebrew 11:1

Not only do these seasons create a hunger to know Him more, but they put our faith to the test. My blog is FAITH Wins, which means fearless always in trusting Him. It is easy to have faith when everything is going amazing and falling perfectly into place. What happens when storms come and disrupt the peace? What happens when you may be in a desert season of life? Where do you turn? During this season of my life, I have learned that faith makes what we long for a reality! It looks like worshiping Jesus even when I didn’t “feel” like it.  It looks like praising His name even though I didn’t know what was next in my life. It looks like trusting my Father through the waiting. It looks like being thankful for all that I do have in my life. It looks like being rooted and grounded in His love, so that no hard season could shake or break me. Faith is having perseverance and trusting the one who has created us!  

I remember sitting in class in Africa, and Rolland Baker said something that will always stick with me. He said, “if you never see a miracle, if you never hear the voice of the Lord, and if you never have anything ‘good’ happen to you, then is Jesus still enough?” Man, this question hit home for me in my past season. My answer will always be Yes Jesus you are and will always be enough for me. You are the key to salvation. When we feel defeated or discouraged, all we need to do is put our eyes on Jesus. Jesus is victorious. There is power in His name. When I take my eyes off of what is happening around me and place them on Jesus, my whole perspective shifts. He is light. He is alive in each and every one of us. He is the author and finisher. He who started a good work in us WILL finish it.

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

— Philippians 1:6

He is with me in this stretching season of my life, and He is not done with me yet! He has not finished, and He will not leave me in the middle of the hard season. He is actually showing me a deeper revelation of who He is in me. He is allowing me to experience a different side of Him. When we give our life to the Lord, we start an everlasting journey of becoming one with Him. Jesus Christ lives in each of us. He is always with us. Our thoughts become His thoughts. Therefore, I don’t always have to feel Him to know He is with me. He is with me because when Jesus died on the cross, He made a way for us to experience the indwelling Christ. Wow! Guys, Jesus lives and dwells in those who follow and know Him. Do you know what that means for me and you?? That means Bidden or not Bidden God is with us through His son Jesus Christ. He broke the veil. He won the battle. When we are at our weakest moments, He is our strength. He is our restorer.

“But He answered me, ‘My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.’ So I will celebrate my weaknesses, for when I’m weak I sense more deeply the mighty power of Christ living in me.”

— 2 Corinthians 12:9

In my weakness, He is strong. He boasts in our weaknesses because we have to allow Him to take over. No matter how weak we may feel in the natural, we must always remember that the mighty power of Jesus lives in us! Guys it doesn’t matter how messy it looks. It doesn’t matter if you are angry, frustrated or mad at him. What matters is that you constantly look to Him and seek Him in these moments. He asks for our obedience. He wants us to trust Him with our lives. He wants to know if you trust Him even when nothing makes sense around you. During this season of my life, there have been several times of me honestly being very frustrated. Every time I feel this way, He asks me do you trust me? Do you really believe that I will work all things good? Do you believe I will answer your prayers? Even if it is a messy, crying and a frustrated yes, He just wants our yes! He just wants us to lay our lives down at His feet. He wants us to continually place our eyes on Him and Him alone. When we only think about our prayers not being answered, feeling stuck, being in the middle of the storm, well then unfortunately that will take over our lives. BUT when we turn our eyes to Jesus, He will flood us with peace.

“Now Christ lives his life in you! And even though your body may be dead because of the effects of sin, His life-giving Spirit imparts life to you because you are fully accepted by God. Yes, God raised Jesus to life! And since God’s Spirit of Resurrection lives in you, He will also raise your dying body to life by the same Spirit that breathes life into you!”

— Romans 8:10-11

Woah. God’s Spirit of Resurrection lives in you and me. I want you to take a moment and really think about that. The power that lives and dwells in you is the same power that rose Jesus from the grave. Therefore, Jesus deserves our praise no matter what is going on in our lives! We need to praise Him no matter what. Praise Him in the middle of uncertainty. Praise Him in the confusion. Praise Him in the hardship.  Praise Him when you don’t “hear” Him. He is a good God, and He is always with you. He will answer your prayers. He will bring sunshine to the never-ending storm. He lives and dwells inside of you. The power that raised Jesus Christ from the grave lives in you! Therefore, you always have access to our Heavenly Father. He is never far away. He is never not looking after you. He is forever and always constantly pursuing you. Today, I pray you hear the Lord’s voice in a new way. I pray you see Him in a way you have never seen Him before. I pray your perspective shifts, and you see how glorious of a God we serve! I pray you are flooded with peace and comfort. You are loved and delighted in. :)