Wonderful Kittens
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About a week and a half ago, Ash was outside and heard what sounded like baby kittens meowing. After looking around, we found them attempting to crawl under our fence. There they were. Four precious, tiny kittens in between our fence and the neighbor’s fence. We didn’t know what to do at first, so we left them for about 5 hours to see if the mom would come back. I would look out our laundry room window about every 15 minutes checking on them, but unfortunately, there was no sign of their momma. It was now about 6:30 in the evening, and we had a decision to make. Praise the Lord I have a friend who is a vet, so I texted her asking for advice and wisdom. Long story short, we ended up taking in the kittens. Ash ran to the pet store for formula and a bottle, and we started bottle feeding them every 4 hours. It turns out they were only 2 and a half weeks old when we found them. This past week the Lord has used these tiny kittens to do such a dealing in my heart. Yes! You read that correctly!!! I am going to do my very best to unpack the many dealings and revelations that have taken place this past week and a half.
First of all, did you know that a momma cat stimulates, licks their babies’ bottoms, to help them go to the restroom for the first 4 weeks of their life?!? Well, I had no idea. This means that after every feeding, Ash or I have to wipe their little bottoms to help them go to the restroom. I had no clue when taking them in how much work and time it would take to foster these kittens. To be honest, by day two I was very overwhelmed by the responsibility of keeping them alive. I had never done anything like this in my life. I didn’t have knowledge on how to bottle feed, how much to feed them, how to stimulate them, what temperature do they have to be in to keep them from dying and so much more. Needless to say, I didn’t know if I could keep doing this.
“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ”
I was desperate for my Heavenly Father. I felt weak and unable to continue on. I prayed and cried out for peace, but was still anxious and overcome. The first dealing the Lord showed me was that these are not my kittens. They are first and foremost His perfect creation. I had to let go of the pressure I was putting on myself to keep them alive. I had to lay them at His feet. I had picked up the burden of being their caregiver, which was NEVER mine to take. Sometimes in life, we can pick up things that were never meant to be ours. Whether its stress at work, relationship problems or drama between friends or family or maybe your parents are going through a divorce. Maybe like me you have someone who has received a horrible diagnosis. Whatever the burden is going on in your life, know that first of all our Father sees you and your heart. He knows your desires and the hurt it brings you. Secondly, know that it isn’t our burden. When we lay our fears, hurt and pain at His feet, He replaces these feelings with peace. We weren’t created to carry this heaviness. In Jesus, we have refuge. We have a warm, cozy shelter. We can’t carry the burden and also experience the freedom our Father wants for me an you. He asks you and me – which would you prefer? Carrying the burden or trusting me and knowing I will provide you peace and comfort? He gives us rest in the midst of the hardship. In the midst of our weakness, He is strong. We have to come to the end of ourselves in order for Him to be glorified. I am free knowing that whatever the outcome - it is out of my control. No matter what, I have a peace that surpasses all understanding because I trust my Father!
“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ”
After laying their lives down at His feet, I still had SO many questions running through my mind. Poor Rachael, my friend who is a vet, because I texted her a million times asking so many different things. I still was anxious trying to make sure I was doing it perfectly. Again, the Lord had me on my face weeping to Him for help. I heard Him say, “Caroline, I never asked you to do it perfectly.” Wow. I sat there undone. I had put so much pressure on myself to do this perfectly and to have all of the answers. First and foremost, He is my source of wisdom. I just needed to look up. I needed to trust Holy Spirit inside of me. I needed to let go and let God. Our Father never asks me or you to be perfect. You know what He wants more than anything? Our yes. When we found these kittens, He asked for my yes not for me to have all of the answers. He knew I had absolutely no knowledge in this and I am in no way qualified for this job. Did that stop Him from choosing Ash or myself? No. There are so many times in life when the Lord will take you and me out of our comfort zones to grow in Him. It is not out of vain. He uses small and big situations for us to die to our flesh and lean more into Him than we ever have before. Every time I may feel anxious, I look up. I pray and ask the Lord for Him to guide me. I ask for Him to be my ultimate source in everything and anything in my life. He is able to do all things. There is nothing too big or small for Him.
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us. ”
When I took them to the vet in Mobile (not my friend Rachael the vet), I could tell the vet disagreed with my decision in taking them in. I felt belittled and unworthy of the task. I felt like I wasn’t enough. I questioned my abilities. I questioned if I had heard the voice of the Lord when taking them in. I questioned everything. At first, I didn’t know what triggered me to spiral downhill. When asking the Lord to show me, I found that I began to fall into my old man of being insecure. Man, did that hit home. I realized that I had put so much weight on the vet’s opinion that I forgot what the Lord had said. In life, I believe we can rely so much on other people’s opinions. Whether that be our mentors, bosses, role models, parents, friends or whoever. When we do this, we tune out the voice of the Lord. We can’t have two masters. We can’t obey two different sources. I was convicted of following the voice of the vet rather than the voice of the Lord. I repented and found peace in knowing that no matter what people may say or think, I know the voice of the Lord. I know He put those kittens in our driveway. He chose Ash and I for this very time. He is the one and ONLY voice I will listen to. He is my Father, and He would never lead me astray. He would also not lead me into something that I wasn’t capable of doing. He is calling laid down lovers of Jesus to follow Him in obedience with no apologies! We can’t listen to the voice of others and listen to the voice of the Lord. Which one are you listening to right now? Because for me, I listened to the voice of a vet. Even though it looked good on paper and even the “right” thing to do, the vet is not my God. She is not the ultimate source of wisdom. We are called higher! We are called to trust what our Father says regardless of what the world may think.
“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will hold to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.”
As I am typing this, I have such a heart full of gratitude because I am on the other side of the breakthrough. I am no longer overwhelmed. I am no longer anxious. I am no longer wanting to be perfect. I am no longer feeling insecure. Through His perfect love, I can be free to do this at the best of my ability. If I give it my best, then I have done all that He asks. I am enough for this task. Why? Because it is not I who lives, but Christ who lives in me. He is the prince of peace. He is the king of kings. He is with me and you in every little thing. He cares about my heart even with kittens. My prayer through writing is for us to have the realization that God is in every little thing in our life. He can use the most simple and mundane experience to the grandest. It doesn’t matter how big or small. Through all things, He is constantly teaching and moving me and you from Glory to Glory. All we have to do is stop to look and listen for that small quiet voice. SO whatever it is you are dealing with, I invite you to sit before the Father and ask for His voice to be revealed to you! I pray that when you sit in the secret place with our Abba you feel Him more than ever. I pray you hear Him more clearly than ever before. I pray you let go of what others say, and listen for the voice of the one who created you. He is the ultimate source of wisdom. He is the ultimate comforter. He is the prince of peace. He is the only Creator. He is a good God, and I pray He meets you wherever you are today!
